


A Point of No Return

by kitty90s



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Extramarital Affairs, Forbidden Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:47:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26917603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitty90s/pseuds/kitty90s
Summary: Nick  Stokes has a perfect life with a promising career and a baby on the way. But everything will change when he meets Greg Sanders.
Relationships: Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes
Comments: 8
Kudos: 7





	1. San Diego

**Author's Note:**

  * For [comeaftermejackrobinson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/comeaftermejackrobinson/gifts).



A Point of No Return

 _"I love this secret language that we're speakin'_  
 _Say it to me, let's embrace the point of no return_ "

Magnets, Disclousure ft Lorde

Nick said goodbye to Bonnie and gave her a little kiss. Ticket in hand, he took his luggage and walked through the check-in gate. As he walked up the escalator, Nick watched his girlfriend as she waved bye with a smile. He searched for his seat, wishing he would have a quiet trip. It was only a one-hour flight to San Diego, but lately he had been feeling really stressed and all he wanted was to rest. Even though he was attending a mandatory Forensic Anthropology conference, Nick was going to follow the advice of his colleague, senior CSI Catherine Willows, and he was going to relax a little bit.

His life had changed quite a lot in the last nine months, ever since the night he had met Bonnie. He had immediately hit it off with the beautiful blonde waitress, and what had started out as a couple of one night stands had turned into something far more serious when Bonnie found out she was pregnant. And so in the span of three months, Nick and Bonnie had moved in together -- what else could have he done? Nick was raised that way, it was the right thing to do, if you get a girl pregnant you must marry her, as the baby needed a family. Moreover, Nick was tired of feeling lonely, coming back home from work every day to find himself alone, with no one to talk to, no one to hug when he had a bad day. Maybe he had met Bonnie at the right time. They’d both considered getting married, but Bonnie wanted to wait until they could have a big wedding reception where she could wear a beautiful, white dress, the one she had always dreamt of.

The first months living together as a couple had been nice. Every morning, when Nick returned from work, Bonnie was waiting for him with breakfast. He also went with her to her doctor’s appointments. Nick felt really happy with this girl. He finally had someone he could share life's little groves with. As Bonnie’s due date got closer and closer, Nick's anxiety levels were increasing. The last cases he had worked on at the lab had all been related to children in danger. There were days when Nick wondered if he would make a good father, as he was hardly ever at home, and he also wondered if he would be able to protect his new family

.………………………………………….

Nick arrived at the hotel two hours before the first presentation started, so he decided to take a tour of the place. He wanted to see the hotel’s spa and see what else he could do there after listening to all the guest speakers. He knew this conference was important for his job. But to be , he couldn't concetrate as his mind was full of worries. 

‘Sir, can I help you?’ one of the receptionists at the spa asked him.

‘No, thanks. I’m just taking a look around the place,’ he said.

‘Well, in case you want to know more about all of the spa’s facilities, here you go’ she handed in a pamphlet ‘We have different types of massages and, as you can see, we also do exfoliation, mud therapy, vinotherapy, and chocotherapy.’

Nick couldn’t resist the temptation and lost himself in the spa.

………………………………………

‘Sorry… Sorry,’ Nick said, as he tried to find a seat in the auditorium. The whole place was dark, and the guest speaker was still busy setting up the projector.

He found a seat at the back of the room, he sat down and prepared to listen to the talk that was about to begin. At that moment, he realized that he had not brought a notebook or a pen to take notes with, and hadn’t even registered at the entrance.

‘Fuck,’ he exclaimed.

‘Shhh!’ The woman that was sitting in the row in front of him scolded Nick.

‘Sorry,’ he apologised. Then, he turned around and asked the guy sitting next to him, ‘Would you lend me a pen and a sheet of paper, please?’

‘Oh, yes… here you are,’ he said.

‘Thanks, man.’

After the day’s activities, Nick went straight to the front desk to register himself. What was the point of attending the conference if he didn’t get any credits for it? All these courses and conferences were important for his curriculum. These things were what the road to a better job was paved with. With a baby on the way, he needed to get a promotion at work. When he was finished at the front desk, he decided to go for lunch. It was on his way to the restaurant that he saw him again.

‘Hey!‘ Nick ran after him.

‘Oh, hi!’ he said.

‘Thank you’ Nick said to the other young man as he handed over his pen.

‘You can keep it,’ he said, and stared at him. Nick began to feel nervous with those brown eyes fixed on him. ‘You have something under your eye,’ the guy pointed out.

‘What? Where?’ Nick asked, touching his face. ‘It’s chocolate! Now I get why they were laughing at me… I was at the spa before,’ he explained.

‘That’s why you were late,’ the guy laughed.

‘Guilty as charged… And again, thank you for lending me a pen.’

‘No problem,’ he answered. 

‘Well, I’m going to see if I can get something to eat… See you later.’

‘Hey, I was going to eat outside. The hotel’s restaurant is really expensive. Do you wanna join me? By the way, I’m Greg… Greg Sanders.’

‘Nice to meet you! I’m Nick Stokes,’ he introduced himself.

They went to a restaurant that a friend of Greg’s had recommended to him. It was supposed to have the best hamburgers in San Diego and, as it turned out, it was true. They talked about their jobs. Greg was a newly Stanford graduated with a major in Chemistry, and he was working at a lab in Los Angeles.

‘To be honest, it’s a bit boring,’ said Greg ‘I came to this conference so that I can add more experience to my curriculum and find a better job, or at least a more thrilling one.’

‘Same reason that I’m here’ Nick said ‘I want to be promoted to CSI level III.’

‘And how is the life of a CSI level II?’ Greg asked him.

‘Well… Fuck!’ Nick exclaimed suddenly when he glanced down at his watch ‘The talk started forty minutes ago!’

‘Let’s go’ said Greg, and he called the waiter.

It wasn’t like he had planned any of it, but the following day Nick kept running into Greg again and again, so he ended up spending the whole day with him. Nick was fascinated by Greg’s intelligence. He was like a prodigy. He participated in all of the talks and discussed criminalistics and forensics with other colleagues throughout all the conferences they attended that day. Nick felt a little bit ashamed as he wasn’t up to date with the latest discoveries in his field of expertise. The last book he’d read had been published two years ago and he almost didn’t have time to read all the papers his peers kept publishing in scientific journals.

Greg was also so charming and funny. He was Mr. Popular, and he introduced Nick to others CSIs. He knew everyone despite the fact he had been there only one day, and everybody liked him and his jokes.

After the last talk of the day, one of Nick's ‘new’ friends suggested they went out to a disco he recommended but that was in fact a nightclub. Nick didn’t want to go, but everyone else kept trying to talk him into it.

‘Don’t be a pussy,’ Carlos said.

‘Come on, your wife won’t know,’ Chris added.

‘I can’t …’ Nick exclaimed.

‘Well, if you make up your mind we will be waiting for you in the parking lot for… only five minutes, then we will go.’

‘Where is Greg? … He can't miss this!’

‘I don’t know, he must be somewhere… Another pussy that is not coming with us,’ Carlos complained.

Nick felt relieved upon learning that he was not the only one who had rejected Carlos' invitation. He didn’t want to go, but it wasn’t because of Bonnie. It was just that he didn’t feel comfortable watching naked girls with a bunch of people he had just met. After searching for Greg through the hotel, he found him in the inner garden. He was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed.

‘Hey Greg!’ Nick called out to him ‘What are you up to?’

‘I’m relaxing a little bit,’ he said, and he showed Nick the cigarette that he was hiding.

‘A joint? Are you mad?' Nick whispered.

‘It's just weed,’ he took another hint.

‘We are members of the police force!’

‘Come on, like cops don’t do drugs…. I bet that right now there is someone doing cocaine up in those rooms,’ he pointed up to the windows above them.

‘The guys went to a strip club,’ Nick told him to change the topic.

‘Yeah, I know, but I didn’t want to go.’

‘Really? Me neither. They were acting like teenagers,’ Nick leaned against the wall next to Greg.

‘Wanna take a hint?’ Greg offered.

‘Ok,’ Nick sighed. The fact that he gave in and accepted so quickly could be blamed on the fact that Greg was very persuasive, or maybe it was just that Nick was tired and he didn't want to argue. ‘I think this is what I needed. The last couple of days I’ve been really stressed.’

‘Why?’

Nick was going to talk about his fear of becoming a dad, but instead he said, ‘Work… A lot of work.’

‘Such good luck that you came here… to relax.’

‘Yeah, my friend Catherine told me the same thing.’

The two men grew silent, and Nick felt Greg's gaze on him. He was staring at him and he blushed, again. Nick tried to look in another direction, but in the end he couldn’t fight it any longer, so he turned around and their eyes met. In that moment, Greg leaned closer, took Nick by the back of his neck and he kissed him. Nick freaked out and pushed him away.

‘I’m sorry!’ Greg said, looking into Nick’s terrified eyes. ‘I didn’t mean to!’

‘I have to go’ Nick mumbled, and then he disappeared.

All the way up to his bedroom, Nick couldn’t stop thinking, not only of Greg’s kiss but of his eyes, too. The way he looked at him, the way he’d felt. The heat rising through his body as he felt his gaze on him. The touch of his hand around his neck. The taste of his lips. The smell and taste of weed in his mouth. The apologetic note in his voice when he ran away.

When he closed the door behind him, he finally allowed himself to breathe. ‘Greg’, he sighed.

……………………………………

The following morning, Nick waited until the talk started before going into the auditorium. He didn’t want to see Greg. He avoided him the rest of the day. He didn’t even talk to the others. He just locked himself in his bedroom. This trip was meant to be a way to get away from his worries and relax a little. But now he was more stressed than ever. ‘Why’ he thought. He was having such a great time, meeting new people, learning new things, and then suddenly it was all gone. He couldn’t concentrate on anything. He tried, but he just couldn’t. All he could think about was Greg. Luckily for him, it was the last day of the conference. The following morning he would be back home with Bonnie and his friends.

‘Hey Nick!’ Carlos called out to him.

‘Hi’ he answered.

‘What’s gotten into you?’ He asked ‘Last night you didn’t come with us and today you are acting weird.’

‘I had a headache,’ he lied.

‘Are you sure? Or did your wife come down on you?’ he said with a laugh. Nick faked a smile ‘Aren’t you coming to the party?’

‘I don’t think so… My flight takes off at 8 o'clock.’

‘Come on… This is the last time we're gonna see each other… I promise we will only drink some beers, no strippers in sight.’

‘Ok’ Nick said. He had always had trouble saying ‘no’, and that's why people took advantage of him.

Nick was afraid of running into Greg, but it didn’t happen. He decided to enjoy the night out with the guys. Carlos and Chris were joking around like teenagers. It seemed that, for them, this trip was as if they were on spring break.

They were drinking their third beer when Nick saw Greg talking with a guy near the bar. They were leaning really close into each other as they talked, and Greg couldn’t stop laughing.

Nick tried no to look in his direction, and he decided to ignore everything related to Greg Sanders. He would never see him again. ‘It wasn't even my fault’ he thought, and so he kept on drinking.

The night was almost over and Nick decided to go back to his bedroom. He had to get up early, so he said goodbye to his new friends. As soon as he entered his bedroom, he collapsed on the bed and he started to think about Greg. Again. Greg, and the handsome man he had been talking with. He started wondering what they were doing. He hadn’t seen them again before he left the party. ‘What a stupid question!’ he exclaimed, covering his face with a pillow.

After an exhausting day and a few drinks, Greg went directly to his bedroom. He had been flirting with a guy at the party. Louis was really gorgeous, like an Adonis. Had it been another day, Greg would have accepted the guy’s invitation to go back to his room. But today he was not in the mood, not after what had happened with Nick. He liked him, but he had ruined everything with him. Nick had been avoiding him the whole day, and Greg didn’t blame him.

He was taking off his shirt and getting ready for bed when he heard a knock on the door.

Who could it be at that time? He opened the door and he found Nick standing right in front of him with a strange look in his eyes. He didn’t look angry-- he looked desperate.

‘Nick! What are you doing he...’ But before he could finish his words, Nick had pushed him inside the room and started to kiss him.

‘Are you sure?’ Greg asked him, trying to take a breath of air, but Nick didn’t answer him. He just continued kissing him, this time on his neck, while his hands roamed all over Greg’s body.

Greg opened his eyes as the sunlight slipped through the curtains, which were barely cracked open. He reached over with the intention to hug a warm body, but he found the other side of the bed to be empty instead. He sat up and looked around the bedroom, trying to find Nick somewhere else in the suite, but he was gone.

Greg sighed in disappointment and slumped back onto the pillow. He closed his eyes and tried to fall back asleep,but all he did was smell Nick's cologne. He grabbed the pillow and held onto it, he smelled it again to try to commit Nick’s scent to memory. ‘It wasn’t a dream after all,’ he said to himself.

………………………….

Nick couldn’t believe he had been promoted to CSI level III. The day before, he had solved his case number one-hundred, and so his boss, Dr. Gil Grissom, had promoted him. He knew that with a higher rank the salary would be better, and this meant he could buy more things for the baby, but he also knew he would have more responsibilities at work from now on.

‘Congratulations!’ his blonde colleague said while she made a pot of coffee.

‘Thanks Catherine!’ Nick said with a big smile ‘Now I’m in the major leagues.’

‘And the best thing is that you beat Warrick to it,’ she said, laughing.

‘Hey! I heard you!’ Warrick said. He was standing in the door frame.

They were all having a laugh when Grissom came into the break room. He looked worried.

‘We have two 419… Warrick and Catherine, you will be working on a single at the Venetian… Nick, you are coming with me,’ he said before turning around to leave the room, but then he stopped all of a sudden when he saw a brunette girl with a gap between her teeth standing behind him.

‘Oh yes, I almost forgot… We have two new members in the team as of today. As I’d mentioned before, I called a friend of mine from San Francisco to help us since Holly Gribbs quit. She is Sara Sidle.”

‘Hi!’ she said with a little smile.

‘And this is our new DNA tech, Greg Sanders,’ he added. When Nick heard that name, a shiver ran through his body. It couldn’t be true. But then Greg appeared shyly behind Sara. He was wearing one of those colourful shirts that he liked, and he had cut his hair since the last time Nick had seen him.

‘Hi! Nice to meet you,’ Greg said staring at Nick.

Nick couldn’t believe he was in the same room with Greg again. Since his return from San Diego, his life had continued as it was before; it’d even gotten better -- he had been promoted, and Bonnie and the baby were safe and sound. ‘It can’t be true, not now’ he repeated to himself.

“Nick… Quickly” Grissom said, and Nick followed him out of the breakroom, head down, without even looking at Greg and pretending the other young man wasn’t even there.


	2. Silence

_ “We haven't spoken since you went away _

_ Comfortable silence is so overrated” _

_ From the Dining Table, Harry Styles _

As the week unfolded, Greg had adapted easily to his new job. He was so glad he had applied for it. It was way more interesting and thrilling than his old job had ever been. Sometimes he felt like he was in one of Sherlock Holmes’ stories, and that with his help decoding clues they could solve any mystery. He knew that it wasn’t a game, but it felt really good to be of help in discovering the truth and catching the bad guys. His co-workers made him feel at home, especially Sara. Given that they both were ‘the new ones’, they spent more time together trying to fit in with the rest of the group. But not all that shines is gold. There was something that prevented him from feeling completely comfortable in his new job at the lab. Nick’s indifference felt like having a dagger permanently stuck in his heart. 

On his first day at the lab, Nick had caught him off guard at the locker room while he had been changing his clothes. He’d pushed him against the wall, his dark eyes clouded by anger. At that moment, Nick wasn’t the nice guy he had met. He was pure rage and muscles.

‘What are you doing here?’ he asked Greg in a deep voice while he held him by the lapel of his shirt.

‘I’m working,’ answered Greg. 

‘Have you followed me here?’ Nick exclaimed, pressing on Greg’s neck with his forearm to keep him in place, completely trapped between himself and the wall. 

‘I came here because they offered me a job,’ Greg swallowed. ‘This is the second best lab in the country... I couldn’t miss an opportunity like this’ he explained, and so Nick finally released his grip.

‘I think it will be better if I leave’ Nick said, as if he had suddenly come to his senses and snapped out of the trance he’d been in when he had walked into the locker room. He stepped back, all the while holding Greg’s gaze. Greg’s eyes showed how terrified he was. And then, Nick left. Greg had told him only half the story. It was true that he had applied for the position because it was a very respected place to work. But he had also done it to follow his heart; it was true, he had indeed followed Nick to Las Vegas. From the moment he first saw him, Greg had been bewitched by his smile... That big bright smile. 

Greg hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Nick since that weekend they’d shared in San Diego. He’d believed he had ruined everything with Nick when he kissed him unexpectedly, but then Nick had looked for him... and then he had run away. Greg needed to see him, to at least talk to him again. He knew it was a stupid thing to do-- if Nick had wanted to see him again, he would have given him his number. But Greg had to try. He had nothing to lose. Maybe he should stop being so impulsive. Yet it was too late to back down. He was living and working in Las Vegas now. But the object of his heart’s desire kept ignoring him.

Every time he needed to have samples analysed, Nick waited until there was someone else in the DNA lab. If Greg was there but it was impossible for Nick to wait until someone else’s shift, he just asked what he needed and then left without exchanging more than five words with the young technician. 

Although he noticed the lengths Nick was going to in order to ignore him and spend as little time as possible in his presence, Greg was too weak to fight his desires, so he spent most of his breaks just staring at Nick, hoping that their eyes would meet. But it never happened. Nick was usually chatting with Warrick, making jokes and laughing. Oh, that was the version of Nick he had met in San Diego! If only he could be Warrick...

‘Hey, Greg… Greg, are you listening to me?’ Catherine interrupted his thoughts. 

‘Yes,’ he mumbled ‘What do you need?

‘After shift’s over we are going to a Mexican restaurant round the corner, it’s Warrick’s birthday. Do you wanna come with us?’

‘Oh really? I’ll be there then,’ he answered.

Catherine had made a reservation at the restaurant, a big table that sat at least ten people. Greg arrived with Sara, and then a few minutes later Grissom arrived. Greg was surprised by this; he would have never imagined that his boss could get along with his colleagues outside of work. For him, Grissom was the kind of man that lived only to work and then he teleported back to his cave. He found this thought really funny, as it reminded him of when he would run into his school teachers at the mall. It was always a funny, awkward situation. He also found it weird that Nick hadn’t arrived yet. After all, Nick and Warrick were best friends and often worked together. 

And at that moment, the restaurant’s door opened and Nick entered the place, followed by a blonde woman pushing a pram with a baby in it..  _ What the hell? _ Greg thought. Hecouldn’t believe what his eyes were seeing. He drank the rest of his mojito, trying to find the strength to cope with the situation. Warrick stood up to greet the couple, hugging the woman and then picking the baby up in his arms.

‘Hello pretty girl!’ Warrick said, smiling down at the child.

‘This is her first day out. She couldn’t miss her godfather's birthday!’

Greg was still catatonic, his eyes fixed in his drink. This whole situation was like something out of a nightmare.

Catherine also approached the couple to take a look at the baby ‘Nick, she has your eyes,’ the blond woman pointed out. 

‘She is so precious,’ Sara said.

Only Grissom and Greg remained in their seats, oblivious to this happy scene. ‘Oh, let me introduce you to our new partners,” Catherine said to Bonnie. “She is Sara Sidle, and that guy over there is Greg Sanders.’

‘Hi! Pleased to meet you! I’m Bonnie, and she is Dixie,’ She was so nice and cheerful. 

Greg swallowed and greeted her. Her skin looked so soft, and smelled of jasmines. She looked like a real size porcelain doll with those blue eyes, her red cheeks and her fleshy lips. There was no doubt as to why Nick had hooked up with her, she was really beautiful. Greg turned around to greet Nick, who looked down.

It all made sense to Greg now, he understood why Nick had run away. He had moved to Las Vegas to follow a married man. A man who was father to a newborn baby, on top of that! This was the worst decision he had ever made. He felt so stupid that he wanted to disappear. But he stayed and pretended everything was okay. He talked with Catherineand laughed at Warrick’s jokes. But then Bonnie said something that threw him completely off..

‘Now that Dixie was born I can start planning the wedding,’ she said full of joy, grabbing Nick’s hand ‘I still can’t believe Nick bought me this amazing engagement ring, the best souvenir he could have brought me from his trip to San Diego!’

And that was it for Greg, the straw that broke the camel’s back. He could see love in Bonnie’s eyes, he was sure that that woman loved Nick. And that was why he couldn’t endure all the happy stories the couple had to tell about themselves. He knew it wasn’t his place to judge Nick; he barely knew him. He didn’t know what his problem was, but buying an engagement ring for your girlfriend after fucking a guy wasn’t right.

Greg stood up all of a sudden. Everyone looked at him.

‘I’m sorry Warrick I forgot I had to do something… You know, with the move...’ he lied. 

‘Don’t worry, man!’

Greg gave Nick one last disapproving look, and then he left the restaurant as fast as he could.

…………………………………………..

The whole department was busy working on Anderson’s case. They were working against the clock, the minutes were running out and the pressure media exposure was having on them made the task even worse. They had been coming and going around the house trying to find some evidence that could help them find the baby. 

He wasn’t supposed to be there; he was about to leave the house when he heard the dogs barking. As if called by a voice only he could hear, Nickfollowed the barks across the golf course, and then he was met by the worst, most horrific scene.

The baby's body was covered by a blanket. Someone had left it there, lying on the ground. And that was the last thing he could remember. He didn’t know how he continued working after being witness to that. He was feeling bad, sweating profusely, and he felt nauseous, too. But he just kept those feelings to himself and continued working like a robot in order to help solve the case. A couple of hours later he finally took a break and went to the lab's bathroom. He was struggling to breathe again. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, and suddenly his face was replaced by what he’d seen earlier:the baby’s corpse. But instead of Anderson's baby, it was Dixie who had died. He imagined Dixie in Zachary’s place. He couldn’t resist it anymore, and so he pushed one of the stall’s doors open and threw up.

‘Nick...?’ 

Someone was calling his name, but he didn’t answer. He held onto the toilet and kept on vomiting. The door of the sall opened, and Nick saw Greg standing right in front of him.

‘Nick, are you okay?’ he asked as he bended down on his knees to check on him. ‘No’ was all he mumbled. 

‘Did something happen??’ Greg sat down next to him and wrapped his arms around his own knees. 

‘I can’t … I can’t stop thinking about the baby’ Nick said, as tears streamed down his face ‘I know it’s my job, this isn’t the first time I saw something like that, but I can only think… ‘ he couldn’t finish the sentence.

‘You can only think about your baby’ Greg said, finishing the sentence for him. ‘Don’t worry, she is safe at home.’

‘I know, but I can’t help thinking...’ 

‘Come on, don’t worry’ Greg patted Nick on the back. It was the first time he got the chance to be so close to him since they’d met again ‘Why don’t you ask Grissom if you can go home? I’m sure he’d understand.’

‘I don’t want to go home’ He wiped the tears off his face with the back of his hand ‘Don’t want Bonnie to see me like this.’

‘So let’s go for a drink’ suggested Greg. ‘You need something to clear your mind.’

Nick hesitated for a minute, but then he accepted Greg’s offer.

‘Okay,’

‘Let me grab my stuff and then we can go’ Greg said as he stood up. 

Greg was drinking his beer in silence while he waited for Nick to open up and talk. His friend, for lack of a better term,was already drinking his second glass of whiskey. He hadn’t said a single word after leaving the lab with Greg.. But the young technician didn’t care. He was there to support him, and he had all day to wait for him to start talking.

‘The day she was born was the happiest day of my life, but it was the worst day of my life as we'll,’ Nick said, looking down at his glass. ‘Dixie’s birth was difficult, you know… Bonnie was seven months pregnant, and her pregnancy had been complicated due to her high blood pressure.They had to go for a c-section… I almost lost both of them.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Greg whispered. 

‘My little girl spent one month at the hospital,’ he turned around to look at Greg with his eyes full of tears. ‘That’s why this case was too difficult for me. But I had to do it for the Anderson family’s baby.’

‘I know it’s hard, but you have to focus on the good things,’ Greg said ‘Dixie is healthy and strong, and I know I’m not a paediatrician but I saw her and I know she will be fine.’ 

‘Thanks for listening,’ Nick smiled at him and then he asked for another drink.

They spent the following hour drinking. Truth be told, only Nick kept on drinking. Greg was just enjoying the possibility to spend some time next to Nick. He knew it was pathetic, but he couldn’t help it. He had to learn how to live near Nick knowing that he had no chances of being with him. They made some small talk, mostly about different things to do in Vegas.

‘I think it’s time to go home,’ Greg said, grabbing his jacket.

‘Okay,’ Nick answered. He then fished his car keys out of the pocket of his jeans.

‘I don’t think you should drive,’ Greg took the keys from him. 

‘I’m fine,’ Nick mumbled. But when he tried to walk he tripped over.. 

‘No, you're not fine at all,’ Greg grabbed him and helped him walk. ‘I’m gonna take you home,’

Greg helped Nickinto his car and then got behind the wheel. He pulled out the parking lot and began to drive.

‘What is your address?’ he asked. Nick was falling asleep ‘ Nick... Nick...’ he called his name to try to wake him up. 

‘What?´’ he mumbled.

‘Your address… I need you to give me your address,’ Greg said.

‘I don’t know. I think it's Benedict. LN,’ and then he laughed ‘Wait! That’s my address in Texas!’ he said before he passed out once more.

‘Oh great!’ Greg exclaimed sarcastically.

He had no choice but to take Nick to his own apartment. He had imagined this situation several times. But none of his fantasies involved him dragging Nick down the hall to his apartment. He laid him on the couch and went to his bedroom to look for some blankets. He was adjusting the pillow under Nick’s head when Nick opened his eyes.

‘Why are you so kind to me? I don’t deserve it,’ he mumbled. The words were almost unintelligible. 

‘Because you are drunk and someone has to help you,’ Greg answered, knowing that he wouldn’t remember anything the next day.

‘Thank you, man’ Nick said, and then closed his eyes.

Greg stared at him for a few minutes. Nick was incredibly gorgeous. Greg couldn’t help falling for him all over again. The more he knew him, the more he fell for him. He remembered his eyes full of tears and the way they had gotten darker the more he’d cried. He wasn’t the tough man he seemed to be at first sight. That afternoon he had caught a glimpse of the real Nick, the one that was vulnerable.. The one who needed to be protected. He wanted to hug him and let him know he was there for him, and that everything would be okay. But of course that was not possible.

……………………………………………………………

He opened his eyes and found himself in a strange place. The walls were white, and there was a TV in front of him. Oh, and a playstation. He blinked again and sat down. That was when he saw the silhouette of a man standing in the kitchen, and he realised that he was at Greg’s house.

‘Good morning … I made some coffee’ Greg said as he sat at the table. 

‘I don’t want any, thanks’ Nick looked around for his jacket. 

‘You should have some. Last night you were really wasted,that’s why I brought you here,’ he explained, and then he took a sip of coffee. ‘Don’t worry, I sent Bonnie a message and told her you were helping the lab with another case.’

‘Thank you,’ he said once more. And then, ‘I should really go home.’

Before crossing the threshold, , Nick stopped himself and remained in silence for a couple of seconds. It was as if he was trying to say something, trying to find the right words to say it, but he didn’t have the courage to do it.

‘Thank you for everything,’ he finally said. 

_ ‘Why won't you ever say what you want to say?’ _ Greg thought, but instead of asking ick that question he simply said, ‘No problem.’

Aand then Nick left the apartment. 

Greg closed the door and leaned against the frame. Nick was running away from him once more. He didn’t understand what he was doing wrong.

_ ‘What did you expect? For God’s sake Greg, please stop with the daydreaming!’ _ He was really mad with himself. 

When Nick arrived home, he went directly to Dixie’s bedroom. She was in her crib, sleeping like an angel. Nick stared at her, hoping that nothing bad would ever happen to his little girl wishing he could be immortal just to protect her forever.

‘Honey, please don’t disturb her, she spent the whole night awake,’ Bonnie asked Nick as she entered the room. 

‘Don’t worry,’ he sighed without taking his eyes off the baby.

‘Bad day at work?’ his girlfriend asked as she hugged him from behind. 

‘Yes,’ he closed his eyes as he leaned into her touch.

‘Come on, I will make you some breakfast and you can talk to me about it,’ she offered, and then she kissed him softly on his cheek. 

He didn't need to talk to her, as he had already vented about that horrible case to someone. He just wanted to sleep some more, as his head still ached. And so guilt got ahold of him Nick. He had lied to her and spent the night completely wasted at another person’s house. But it wasn’t just any house. He had spent the night at the place of the person he had had a one-night with. And all night Bonnie had been up, taking care of their daughter. What had he been thinking of? He had an obligation to fulfil his duties as a husband and a father. But at the same time, he couldn’t deny he felt comfortable talking with Greg. He was the only person that had noticed that he was in shock. He hadn’t judged him; he had just listened to him without reproaches, even if Nick was sure he deserved to be judged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Greg doesn't like Sherlock Holmes. But this is a AU fanfic so i made him like it. LOL


	3. Desire

_ “I got these beliefs that I think you wanna break _

_ Got something here to lose that I think you wanna take from me _

_ You say that I'm asleep but I wanna be awake _

_ Got something here to lose that I know you wanna take” _

Seventeen, Troye Sivan

After that night at Greg’s apartment, Nick began to feel guilty about the way he had treated him. Since the day Greg had arrived at the lab he had been acting as he didn’t exist. He had almost hit him and despite all of this Greg was still nice to him, taking care of him. Why was he being an asshole? it was clear that Greg was a person he could trust. So Nick decided to talk to him and clear things up between them, they were colleagues now and they should get along.

When he entered the lab, he saw Greg listening to music so loud that he didn't notice him. He was singing along, shaking his head to the beat of the song.

_ “Secrets collecting dust but never forget _

_ Skeletons come to life in my closet _

_ I found out what it takes to be a man _

_ Now mom and dad will never understand _

_ What's happening to me?” _

‘Greg… Greg ’ Nick called him as he touched his shoulder 

‘What?’ he shouted ‘Sorry didn’t hear you ‘ he turned down the music

‘Do you like this thing? ‘ Nick asked

‘ this thing? It’s Green Day ,‘ he exclaimed offended

‘I would never have imagined that you listened to this music’ he said

‘why? Because I’m gay I should be listening to Britney’ Greg’ said ironically and Nick blushed. Greg thought there was no need in hiding who he really was, It wasn’t like Nick didn’t know. He didn’t want to pretend in front of him.

‘ no… no I didn’t meant to said that’ Nick apologised ‘ It just that I had been to a Green day concert a you don’t look like their fans’

‘ you neither’ Greg answered

‘ my sister is the fan I just went to look after her’ he rolled his eyes

‘ I wish a I had a sister to go to concerts’ Greg sighed

‘ well I can give you one of my 5 sisters’ nick joked 

‘ five? Woaw … I’m an only child I always wanted to have a sibling to play o just to have another person so my mum can worry about’

‘we are seven siblings and I can assure that sometimes you want to be an only child especially when you want to use the bathroom in the morning”

They grew in silence and so Greg asked ‘what did you need?’ Nick became nervous as he had forgotten his speech. At that moment he thought that maybe it was better to leave things as they were

‘warrick asked me to pick the results, ' he lied. He wasn’t even working with him in that case

‘ oh, well you have to wait a little bit cause I’m analysing g something for Grissom’

‘ okey’ he remained standing up

‘ you can sit if you want’ greg said and so Nick sat giving a look around the lab ‘so what kind of music do you listen?’ asked greg while he continued working

‘ frank Sinatra … Dolly parton and..

‘ wait ‘ said Greg id turning away from the microscope ‘ you named your daughter after Dolly’ he crackled

‘hey don’t laugh it's my daughter’ Nick said ‘we did not agree to choose a name and the day she was born ‘ you are the only one “ was being played on the radio. i know she will be upset when she grows up.

…………………………………………………………………………….

It had been a long night and they were really exhausted, so Warrick invited Nick to go for breakfast at the same restaurant they always went. When they arrived, Norma who knew them for a long time, greeted them and prepared their favourite table. All the waitresses knew what they had for breakfast. Warrick would have dark coffee with waffles and Nick would have a cup of coffee with a slice of strawberry pie.

While they were waiting for their orders, Nick went to the bathroom and on his way he ran into Greg. He was eating alone.

‘ hey Greg’ Nick palmo his shoulder and he turned around

‘ Hi nick’ ‘ he smiled at him

‘ warrick is over there’ pointed with his head ‘why don’t you join us? ´he suggested

‘okey’

When Nick returned, Warrick and Greg were laughing their head off. Nick smiled because that situation reminded him when he met Greg . He wished he could be his friend and hanged out and talked like before but that was impossible. Every time he was near Greg, all the doubts took hold of him. He couldn’t think clearly around him, he could only think about that night and so he began to feel guilty because he knew it was wrong, guilty,because he thought of Bonnie and Dolly. Guilty. Because he had run away.

‘ wow, San Diego was wild’ said Warrick ‘ hey Nick, Greg was telling me about the Conference in San Diego I wish I had gone with you’

‘ it was really boring you didn’t miss anything’ he said as he sat down. His fears were coming true. What the hell? What did Greg say ? No one could know what had happened between them.

‘That’s because you hadn’t met Greg’ Warrick added and Nick sighed in relief.

‘here are your orders’ interrupted a blonde waitress

‘ thank you’ said Warrick and when she left he turn to check her butt ‘ she is fit’

‘I guess’ Greg nodded

‘ don’t you like her?’ Warrick raised an eyebrow

‘she’s not my type’ he answered 

‘what is your type?’ asked Warrick

‘brunettes, I like brunettes’ 

‘well i'm gonna try my luck with her ’ Warrick stood up went to talk to her

‘ Hey’ Nick got closer to Greg who was sitting in front of him ‘ what the hell? Why are you talking about San Diego?’

‘ I didn’t said anything don’t worry’ Greg drank from his coffee

‘ I should have said this before … We have to forget San Diego… it was a mistake I was drunk and… ‘ he whispered looking around to see if anyone was listening to their conversation.

‘ You are the only one who is always mentioning San Diego’ Greg said ironically ‘ don’t worry about me’ he smiled and then he stood up to go to the bathroom.

Nick followed him with his eyes. He wished he could be like him so careless and confident about himself and at the same time he felt relieved because he had talked to him or at least he had tried. He knew he hadn’t expressed him clearly but he had to move on and forget that night. It was the right thing to do; to keep his family and his job.

‘ I still got it’ Warrick sat next to him waving a piece of paper

…………………………………………………………………………………….

The relation between Nick and Greg had frozen and this time it was Greg who was acting cold and with indifference. He tried to avoid him and so he began to spend more time with Sara. He was heartbroken and decided to forget Nick. It was for his own good; he couldn’t keep daydreaming so he decided to keep his relationship just as co- workers. It was time to move on. He had been living in Las Vegas for one month and hadn’t gone out to clubs or met new people. His life orbited around the lab and that was depressive.

The last three days had been terrible, Greg had a broken pipe from the shower and as the janitor invented excuses and didn’t repair it. He couldn’t shower at home so he had to use the lab’s shower.

Moreover, he was busy with lab’s work. Everyone was stressed and were demanding more and more from Greg. ‘I need this analysis now’ ‘come on Greg’ ‘quickly Greg’ they kept repeating to him like he was a robot. He did his job but he was a human being too, he had his own problems. As he was used to, Greg swallowed his anger every day until he exploded. Warrick and Nick were working in a murder case and they almost caught the suspect but they still needed. 

‘ Greg, have you got the results? ‘ warrick asked impatiently

‘ not yet’ he said

‘ come on man … if we don’t caught him he will leave the country forever’

‘I’m doing my best but i only have two hands’ answered Greg

‘if you didn’t laze so much’ said Warrick

‘ I EVEN WORK MORE THAN YOU’ Greg turned round and shouted at him

‘ Yeah sure ,you spend the whole day listening to music..’ warrick 

‘hey! easy man’ said Nick s ‘getting in the way ‘ c’ mon let’s Greg to do his job’

……………………………………………………

Finally, his shift had ended and he could get some rest. All Greg wanted was to sleep a whole day and forget his problems. He felt ashamed of using the lab’s showers almost all the week, what would they think about him? That he was so useless that he couldn’t even repair his own shower, ‘ I bet warrick can do it” he thought . Or maybe that he was so poor that he couldn’t afford a nice place where to live”

‘ Greg, can we talk?’ Nick appeared behind him

‘ no’ he answered sharply

‘ I want to apologize for what happened today’

‘ there is no need and it is warrick who should apologized’ he continued rummaging his bag

‘ you know he is a bit moody… we were really exhausted’

‘ yeah, like I’m not exhausted too’ he turned around’ I also work a lot and have personal problems’

‘ sorry’

‘ You ALL are always pushing me, asking and asking but you never congratulate me , never a word of encouragement. you don’t care about me you just assume I’m a robot’ Greg ranted

‘I care’ Nick got closer

‘don’t lie’ Greg sighed

‘ I  _ do _ care for you’ he extended his hand to caress his cheek and Greg stepped back although he had melted at the touch.

‘ I was a mistake, wasn’t I ? Greg reproached

‘ I’ m sorry’ Nick said, coming closer to Greg, so close he could almost feel his heart beating so fast ‘ so sorry’ and with a kiss he closed the gap between them.

What had started with a soft kiss then turned into more passionate kisses. Greg took control of the situation and pushed him into one of the showers. He started to kiss nick’ neck, unbuttoning his shirt and going down through his chest, kissing each of his abs. And when he reached Nick's fly he stopped him.

‘not here… not now’ Nick gasped and got out. He adjusted his shirt and then he left.

Greg opened the faucet and let the hot water run through his body. He couldn’t understand nick’s attitude. He would act indifferently, ignore him and in the next moment he would say the nicest things to him and even kissed him and then he would back off, leaving him wanting more.

Greg was about to take the bus when he saw a car making lights at him. When he approached it, the window went down and he saw Nick.

‘Wanna go for a ride? asked Nick smiling at him

‘Sure ‘said Greg as he got in ‘ where are we going?’

‘ I was thinking about your place’ Nick smirked at him

As soon as they entered Greg’s apartment, they devoured each other’s lips leaving a trail of clothes to the bedroom. Nick pushed Greg down on the bed pulling his boxers away and grasping his firmly cock in his boxers.

‘ Oh Nick’ Greg gasped as he threw his head back in ecstasy.

………………………………………………………..

When he woke up, Greg reached over with the intention to hug a warm body, but he found the other side of the bed to be empty instead. He looked around and Nick wasn’t in the room. It was all over like San Diego.

‘He left again’ he sighed punching a pillow and in that moment Nick appeared on the threshold of the bedroom.

‘ I was at the bathroom’ Nick said and Greg covered his face with his hand, so ashamed of the situation.

Nick laid next to him, leaning his head over Greg´s chest he began to talk ‘ I’m sorry for what happened at San diego , I shouldn’t have run away like that but I was confused and afraid ‘ he looked up‘ it was my first time with a man and I didn’t know what to do’ he confessed ‘ I have never felt like this … I tried to ignore you, to be rude with you but I couldn’t… you are so kind and I felt guilty so I decided to change my tactic and just be your colleague ,I thought I could do it just like the day we met, But it was worst and when you stop talking to me I couldn’t bare it… Greg I desire you … I wanna be with you but it’s difficult “

‘ I know´ Greg stoked his hair

‘ i don’t know what to do, i have a bee in my bonet’

‘ don’t worry we’ll work this out’ said Greg taking him by the chin and giving him a kiss

‘have you ever had sex with a woman?’ asked Nick drawing circles with his finger on Greg ‘s chest

‘No , way’ Greg laughed. ‘I had a girlfriend in the last year of high school, her name is Jenny and we are still friends. I have known her since we were 13. I thought that by dating her I could stop thinking about guys and you know what? she was doing the same thing, she is a lesbian. We tried to have sex on our prom night but we couldn’t and so we cofessed to each other, we spent the rest of the night talking and laughing’ 

‘ and how was your first time with a man?’ Asked Nick wanting to know more about Greg

‘ His name was Will. I met him at college, he was my roommate's friend, so he used to hang out in my bedroom. One night, George was out of town and he came looking for his help for a math exam. I offered my help and we spent the whole night practicing some exercises. I didn’t get that he was flirting with me really I was so naive. So when he passed the exam he appeared with a bottle of vodka to celebrate and so he made his move. I was so clumsy I didn’t know what to do but I just played along. After that, we saw each other two more times and then Will started dating another guy… What about you?’ he asked

‘My first time was with my girlfriend Madison,we were fifteen and she was alone at her home as they parents were on holidays and so she invited me and well we had sex’

‘let me guess she was a cheerleader’ said Greg

‘ yes , how do you know? Nick asked surprised

‘ the name Madison is so of a cheerleader and I’m sure you were at the football team’

‘ yes, I was the quarterback’

‘ I knew it’ greg exclaimed ‘ it so cliché’

‘ stop laughing’ nick punched softly him in his arm

‘ I cant believe a I ‘ve just fuck with a quarterback I can crossed that out of my bucket list’ he said a kissed him

‘asshole’ he leaned and kissed him again

‘Have you ever kissed a man before? Greg asked him

‘ yes’ he looked down ‘ at a fraternity party, I had gone to the kitchen to look for more beer and there was this dude, he was French. He started to praise the party as he wasn’t from college. I think he came from another party. We kept talking about texas and out of the blue he kissed me. Like with tongue and everything and in that moment the fire alarm started to sound, so we have to evacuate the house and I never see him again’

‘I can’t believe I can also cross out frat boy from my list’ Greg joked trying to make Nick laugh, he wanted to show him that. he could trust him And so Nick laid on Greg, kissing him. He wanted to forget about the world outside, he wanted to enjoy all the time he could spend next to Greg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to do some clarifications, in chapter two I wrote that nick's daughter was called dixie and it was because I was going to say that nick was a fan of the dixie chicks and he named her after them. It was the only country group I knew. But while i was searching about the band I read that they had changed their name because dixie was a term related to the Confederate states and the enclavism system and so I decided to change the name of the baby too. I’m not American so I didn’t know much about this term’s history.

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic is dedicated to Daiana. I could never have imaged myself writing a fanfic about CSI. I haven't watched it but since i started reading her thread rewatching the show on twitter i became a fan. And of course i ended up shipping Nick and Greg. I hope you all enjoy this fanfic inspired by the film Free Fall (2013).


End file.
